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Mother’s Day is mostly a day of celebration, but for individuals dealing with the loss of their mother, it can be a period of mourning and loneliness. In an interview, Rebecca Feinglos, a certified grief support specialist and founder of the online community Grieve Leave, who is based in North Carolina, remarked, “The first year after a loss can be tough, holidays especially.”
A person experiencing their first Mother’s Day after their mother’s death will likely find it makes her absence feel even more vivid. Feinglos mentioned that the vacancy can feel like a large void in someone’s daily life, particularly if they shared a close bond with their mother.
Moreover, Mother’s Day could be an emotional rollercoaster for people who had a less than perfect relationship with their mothers. A combination of grieving for the relationship they never had and feeling anger or resentment over past wounds may surface.
Compounding the issue is the fact that Mother’s Day is an extensively publicized holiday with a significant emphasis on maternal relationships. The constant exposure can be overwhelming, even bordering on painful, for those who have recently lost their mum.
Feinglos also provided some helpful tips for anyone navigating their first Mother’s Day after losing their mother:
1. Develop a plan of how you’d spend the day.
2. Connect with others, don’t keep your feelings bottled up.
3. Allow others to support you by accepting their offers of help.
4. Establish a ritual to create a space for your grief.
5. Be aware that grief manifests in different ways for different people.
Recognize that your grief is just a manifestation of your loss. It highlights an important fact of life, that you’re alive, human, and processing a loss. This doesn’t make you broken; it makes you resilient.
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